If they aren’t hunting you down while you're hanging out on some ley lines being an unforgivable hippie who hasn’t washed since Glastonbury, they are flashing their knob-end at you in the woods, cheating on you while plotting your downfall or lacing your wild boar stew with magic mushrooms so they can rape you without the effort of dealing with you fighting back. This is a horrible film, but not because it is a horror film. In fact, it is barely that. It is just horrible.

The film opens with a group of awful hippies protesting against the construction of a motorway by-pass getting murdered by a psycho male. Fifteen years later, Susan (Charisma Carpenter from TVs Buffy the Vampire Slayer), a successful Californian horror writer, and her new husband David (played by newbie to the screen British model Paul Sculfor) move to a lonely and isolated house in the rural English countryside.

Soon after settling in Susan appears to have another one of “her episodes” as her publisher describes it. Everyone is incredibly patronising to her and the line between reality and delusion begins to blur. Meanwhile, in a different film altogether, her husband is hanging out with a member of The Darkness (Justin Hawkins) at some London sex-party.

Described as a modern twist on the cult British horror films of the 1970s, it does have a vague hint of Hammer Horror about it, but it also has a vague hint of Hollyoaks about it.

The climax was like waiting around all day for someone to prematurely ejaculate and afterwards I was still fairly confused about what the point of it all was. It could have done with having about 20 minutes of redundant plot taken out and way longer death scenes.

PSYCHOSIS is available on DVD and Blu-ray from www.play.com from 19th July 2010

Certificate: 18 / Running Time: 89 minutes approx